Trouble Brewing

Who knew a book I purchased in 2006 for $1.00 would become a favorite?! Found this book at a dollar store in October of 2006. Peanut picked it out, I think. It was a book called "Trouble Brewing"...a Halloween book. I first read it to her when she was about 2 1/2. By the end of the month she practically had it memorized. We've pulled it out around Halloween time every year and she even brought it with her to day care to recite. I often use silly voices for characters in stories, and the voices I've used for these particular characters have remained the same over the years. This year Peanut can read the book on her own and using the voices! She was Star Student this week at school and one of the items she was to bring in was her favorite book. She brought "Trouble Brewing" to class with her on Tuesday. She told me that usually her teacher would read the Star Student's book to their classmates...This time was different.  Peanut got to read her book voices and all! I must admit, she tells it better than I. When I picked her up from school I found her reading to a couple of her classmates. It was adorable!

"Delicious" she cackled

"It still needs some snake skins, Dizzy"

"What's that dreadful smell?" he bellowed

I need to figure out how to put audio on this blog...I guess you kind of just have to be there to really appreciate "Trouble Brewing".

Quite Extraordinary

We had the parent/teacher conference with Peanut's teacher a couple of weeks ago. Her reading tested at a third grade level and her math was at a second grade level...this, of course, makes me very proud as she's only in first grade. The teacher said she hasn't noticed Peanut getting distracted to the point where it affects her work...if anything, she said that Peanut tends to get too into her work which makes it hard for her to follow directions and move on to the next assignment, etc. She said that she writes 3-5 pages in her journal when only a sentence is required and that she thinks she'll make a great actress! Fun!

Perhaps the most touching piece of news was when she said that Peanut befriended another girl in the class who was having difficulty making friends. It feels so good when people notice her kind, sensitive side...makes me feel even better that she has that capacity. I was always the shy, timid kid in school...having a social butterfly for a child is more than I could have hoped for. The fact that she uses that skill for the benefit of others makes her quite extraordinary in my eyes.

Miner Issues

After lunch today I decided to run downstairs to the vending machine to get a chocolate bar...been sleepy a lot lately and needed a quick fix of chocolate. Pretty fed up with antidepressants at the moment, but telling myself the side effects are nothing compared to the alternative.

So I make it downstairs with 70 cents in hand (I had to borrower a quarter from a co-worker because all my spare change goes to Peanut these days)...the machine will only accept exact change. Drat! Run back upstairs and ask around for a nickel. Have my trusty nickel and change in my hand as I'm walking downstairs and I dropped it all (I gotta stop swinging my arms when I walk!). Double Drat and boogers! Managed to find the change and am about to partake in a probably stale Butterfinger.

I was walking up the stairs and reminded myself about the miners from Chile. I've been following this since it was first reported they were trapped (and possibly dead). Terrific story of bravery. I think at this point 21 of the 33 have been pulled to safety after spending over 2 months trapped in a mine... in mostly darkness. Think about it! No sunshine, no fresh air for over 2 months! Made me stop and take a minute to be thankful that I'm not in that darkness right now. Amazing rescue, amazing story of people coming together, people at their best. Stale or not, I'm going to enjoy that Butterfinger without complaint...and everything else in my life that's bothering me right now seems minor compared to that life changing event for those men and their families...not to mention the people who helped rescue them.

Today, the only issues I need be concerned with are Miner issues.

Relationship Books

I'm on a roll, so I'm going to keep going with this bad date from dating sites theme...read a profile today from a guy who I saw read mine. It was a little wishy washy, but nice and he was nice looking so I kept reading... he wrote something about how he's had failed relationships in the past (he's divorced, so I assumed that) yaddi yaddi...no big deal at that point...then I look at the section where you get to write your likes and dislikes. Under "books read" he wrote, "I write relationship books". Huh?!

So if he ever were to say to someone, "I write bad relationship books" would that mean he writes books about bad relationships or relationship books that are bad?!...just sayin'

Out of the Blues

Had a bit of a hard time this past weekend. Went on 3 separate dates and came up 0 for 3 (I know, feast or famine). It's getting easier to recognize when someone is not a good match for me, but still feeling quite let down.

I've got a pretty big case of the blues right now. I just don't want to be sitting across from anyone new, grinning through my disappointment. I'm tired of wishing I could be back in a relationship that felt comfortable and equally matched...where there was no awkward silence, only connected silence...where there were no doubts about how the other person felt about me (and vice versa). I want to feel like I did when I was with Russell those first few dates. That almost instant "I get you" feeling that comes when you're truly with someone who sees you for you.

Reminds me of a line in a Steve Perry song, ..."the trick of the dreamer is keeping yourself from the blues"...Only I didn't do a good job of keeping myself from there and now just want to be out of the blues.

Back in the Habit

Had lunch date from hell yesterday. I was ready to leave from the first hello. Actually, he didn't even say hello...this is how the date started:

WYLIE (using nickname but his name is Bruce)- "Don't tell me that car with the Obama magnet is yours"

ME- "Yep, that's mine"

WYLIE - "My insurance premium just went up. Thank you. Maybe you should be the one to pay for lunch"

ME - Just imagine a stunned look and then my wall goes up..."It's nice to meet you too" (How's that for sarcastic?!)

It only got worse from there. When he brought our food to the table, he pretended that he was serving me because I'm such a bossy person (he called me bossy in a text when I simply asked him where and what time he wanted to meet up). Mentioned cats, he's allergic.... was talking about my profile picture with Papa Sam in it (Papa looks like the Jewish Colonel Sanders with his goatee)...got a "That's right, you're Jewish, aren't you?"...asked me who called the shots in my marriage...and my favorite was when he told me I could lick the bowl if I needed to (I was finishing soup at La Mad's...you don't leave soup! It's too good). Can you say "passive/aggressive"?!!!

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See ya!!!!

Actually had some fun telling co-workers about this dreadful date. That boy had problems.

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I got home yesterday afternoon and received a text from Wylie...it said, "Hey you"

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Huh? Seriously? And you're texting me why?
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I just deleted it. Not even worth a reply. I did email a co-worker to tell her I heard from him. This is how that conversation went:
BT- "That guy is bat sh_t crazy"
ME - "No kidding, I'm going to convert and become a nun"
BT - "So not your style"
ME- "I'm sure it will eventually become a 'habit'"...BA DUMP BUMP!

Vacation

Earlier this year I was online looking for summer camps for Peanut. One website was chock full of info and also had a drawing for a 3 night stay at the Gaylord Texan in Grapevine. I forgot about entering the contest, but a couple of months later I received a call saying I had won!!!! I chose Labor Day weekend. The trip was for a family of 4 so I invited my friend Tracy and her daughter along. It was one of the nicest vacations I've ever taken and then first vacation in quite some time that didn't involve visiting family. Best of all we did not have to take a plane ride to get there. They had a theme of Alice in Wonderland at the hotel. I dressed Peanut up as Alice and Tracy dressed her daughter up as The Red Queen. They were adorable and I got some great photos of our experience.

Can I Have a Snack?

Peanut's reading skills have improved so much over the summer. She pretty much tries to read everything she gets her hands on. I found a cute chapter book called "Ivy + Bean" at the bookstore. I had it on her seat when I picked her up from school a couple of Mondays ago. Normally when we get in the car the first thing she does is ask for a snack. She immediately started reading the book. She was reading out loud and using different voices for each of the characters...this always cracks me up especially since she gets that skill from me. She read the entire way home and the entire way to her ice skating lessons. She was still reading the book as we were walking through the mall. I had to hold one hand and guide her so she wouldn't bump into anything. A clerk and a few people passing by commented on her zest for reading. I felt very proud. When we arrived at the rink she actually had to make a choice between extra reading time or free skate time before her class. She chose the skating at my urging...but went straight to the book when the Zamboni machine was cleaning the ice. Since then she's read 4 of the "Ivy + Bean" books...though she does remember to ask for a snack when she gets in the car.

First Grade Without Her Barks in the Backpack

Peanut started first grade a few weeks ago and I've been meaning to post the photos. We found the sweetest dress over the summer and she looked just adorable. Best of all, Barkley stayed in the car all day and without incident.

Share

I'm back!...but I only have time for this quick post.

It was a very interesting experience to not have this blog for a month. I am looking forward to re-connecting with it...and with sharing myself again.

A Complete Overhaul

I'm noticing a pattern every ten years. A pattern I hope to break in 2020.

1980 - The "rents" separated and we moved to the house on 109th. Lots of adjustments and turmoil that year...but we did move into what would become the only place where I've ever felt like I was "home"
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1990 - I was in college. At the beginning of the year I ditched the alcoholic boyfriend, changed majors... and moved (and lived completely by myself for the first time).
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2000 - I moved to a new apartment, my Grandma Ann passed away, I hated my job so much that I quit without having another job...and I found my current job and love it here. I started what has now become a ten year tradition with Papa Sam (Phone calls every Friday night to wish each other "Good Shabbos")
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2010 - *@!!*#!!!!! - Everything has just felt "off" this whole year. I'm not moving this year, but I am giving my idea of "home" a complete overhaul.

Grateful

I feel a lot of emotion when I listen to music. I think that's true for most people and if not music, then there are other forms of art that can do the same. Found a great song off of the SYTYCD show. I find a lot of what ends up being my favorite music when watching SYTYCD. Something about seeing expression through dance that touches me even more. Sometimes it brings out tears but mostly those tears are about just feeling life in its deepest, purest form. I'm amazed by bodies and what they can do and I'm amazed by the depths of the human emotions we are capable of. I'm amazed by being able to dive into mine without being swallowed up by them...something that I haven't always been able to do.
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One in particular is a new favorite. I only heard this song for 30 seconds...that's all it took to grab me (it was one of the contestant's solo music),it was so moving...especially because of the contemporary style dancing. It's called "To Build a Home" and it's by The Cinematic Orchestra. The lyrics in the second verse and the imagery it creates is exquisite, remarkable, oh my gosh genius! For a change I am able to feel the sadness for him (the person the song is referring to) instead of incorprating my life into the song...which is probably why I can listen to it so often.
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So look it up and listen (If you have time to read my blog, you have time to look up music!) :-)
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It has a sad ending, but the story will hopefully leave you feeling positive...as it strangely does for me. At the very least, it will leave you feeling grateful.

Connected

Cat-ouflage - Squash matches

my room!

Kept Peanut's Self Potrait
on my bedroom door

Changed my bedroom up a bit a few months ago. I've been meaning to post the pictures. Finally hung a couple of pictures on the wall above the bench and de-cluttered most of the room. I liked the comforter set because of the colors, but mostly because the style was called "Connected".

Percy Love

Giving Percy a pet when she came in (notice the reflection on the right)

Percy Love has been removed from Peanut's "list" recently. She now likes him (even when he barfs all over the floor). Not sure how this change came about, but not questioning it. Percy is no longer a "dumb cat". Last night when we came home she decided to show Percy some lovin. Right as I was taking two of the photos he leaned over to kiss/sniff her face. Captured it as best as I could with my regular camera. I'm so glad she's finally being sweet with our fluff monster that is Percy Love.

Ice Follies

Took Peanut ice skating Saturday afternoon with Brad. This was their first introduction and it went really well. They seemed to like each other and both appeared to be very comfortable which makes me happy. More on that later.

I've wanted to learn how to ice skate for as long as I can remember, but I've been too afraid. I've always done that...been afraid to try things because I think I might fail...and I've missed out on a lot.

We laced up our boots and went out on the ice. Brad took Peanut around a few times and then she was pretty much able to make the track on her own (holding onto the rails only about 1/2 the time). She was in heaven! She's had a couple of lessons before, but it's been a good year and a half, if not two since the last lesson. I went ahead and did their 15 minute introductory lesson. I wasn't as clumsy as I thought I'd be. I probably made it around the rink 10 times...mostly with the coach, but a few times on my own after the lesson was over. I had so much fun.

I WENT SKATING!!!!! ...and I only fell once! I DID IT!!!! (Picture the little Peanut's Gang "happy dance" with Snoopy's nose up in the air and everyone be-boppin from side to side...that's what's going on in my brain at this moment).

We are definitely going back again. In fact, I've signed Peanut up for a 5-week summer session. I'll tell her today, she's going to be so excited.

And, who knows, maybe I'll take their adult class in the future.

Lookout world, this Drama Queen is just made for the Ice Follies!

Pinch Me

Barkley resting comfortably in the booster

seat waiting for camp to be over
1st day of camp yesterday

Today is a really special day! Peanut has always taken Barkley with her to day care, school (tucked away in her backpack) and planned on bringing him to camp. I think she's maybe slept 1 night without him since she he was first put in her crib. The Barks goes everywhere! This morning her camp was going on a field trip. Last week I talked to her about Barkley going to camp with her. He must stay in her bag (unless it's free play time) and he's not allowed to go to camp on days they have field trips. I was waiting for a fuss this morning, waiting for crocodile tears...waiting, waiting...She gave Barkley a good long hug, and left him in the car! Oxygen, I need oxygen!!!! Somebody pinch me!!!!!

The Recital

Peanut had her ballet recital last weekend. I got some great candids from her, but the quality of my photos still needs some work. She did a wonderful job and we enjoyed some ice-cream with Mimi and Paw Paw after her performance. Barkley wore his best tuxedo! Apparently it was more like a bad dress rehearsal for me and my camera. I can't wait to get more tips from Papa Norman next week when we head to Florida.

I'd Have To Say...Gardenias

Phillip (one of my bosses) came by my desk today and was handing out gardenias from his yard (I think his wife is an avid gardener). I'm soaking in the smell right now. We had a gardenia bush in Miami and used to pick them for our teachers in the morning. I've talked about that house in Miami before. That house is always in my dreams and it was a really good time in my life...always felt like I was "home" when I lived there, and that sense of "home" has eluded me since. If I were asked what scent reminds me most of living there, I'd have to say gardenias...gardenias give me a momentary scents of home...or is that sense?

"My Boobies, My Legs and My Tushy Buns"

When Peanut was about two she started asking to "go downstairs with her boobies"...this was always after I gave her a bath and was about to put her pajamas on and take her downstairs. She didn't want her top on. Of course I obliged because kids need bare bare time. Then one evening she said, "I want to go downstairs with my boobies, my legs and my tushy buns". This, of course meant she wanted to be naked. This is one of my favorite stories to tell her because it was always such a fun time (once I actually got her out of the bath and dried off)...and it brings out the giggles.

I've had horrendous night sweats recently. The kind where I wake up at 3am soaked and freezing. I end up changing my clothes and sometimes changing the sheets. Even my legs sweat!  I'm going to my OB-GYN for a tune up in the next week. I am not sure if this sweating is due to the anti-depressant I take or pre-menopause (Oh the horror!!!!). My hormones just feel out of whack.

I am trying different things at night while I wait for my appointment. Last night I went to bed (alone) with my boobies, my feet and my legs...no night sweats! That's rare, and I woke up smiling for a change. Peanut was definitely on to something way back when.

Si, Se Puede!

Yes, it is possible

Yes we can

Yes, it can be done

Si, Se Puede!

Participated in the Mega March 2010 in downtown Dallas this weekend. Wasn't my "weekend" with Peanut, but Robert D let her come along. Tricia from my office also joined us (originally it was just going to be Tricia and me).

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the new law just passed in Arizona. Will probably take me a while to put it to words, but basically, that new law just scares me and I think it's a giant step backward for our country.

At any rate, the march was a very powerful experience. We arrived fairly early. The rush of stepping into the crowd to wait for the march to begin was very emotional and my eyes welled up with tears. We made many friends while waiting to start the march. One family in particular (dad, mom and three kids). The dad and the eldest child were getting the crowd going with cheers. They offered us an umbrella to stay cool and were so nice to talk to. While we were walking, there was a woman next to us who turned to Tricia and me to thank us for being there. Blew me away because I don't look at it as something I should be thanked for. I want my child to grow up knowing that sometimes the laws aren't fair and that she has the power to do something about it (even if it's by marching to make a statement).

Si, se puede! We all can do it.