Extra Weight

They played a marvelous game of tug-of-war.

Holding the rope tightly as they stared into each other's eyes.

He'd pull back causing her to lunge forward.

Determined not to lose her footing she did the same.

The intensity of their stares grew.

He raised one eyebrow.

She raised two.

They smiled at each other as if to say, "truce".

That's when they both let go of the rope.

They fell to the ground and laughed their asses off.

Glad to be rid of the extra weight.

Mountain of Words

This piece is for a dear, old friend who strives to be open.

Week after week he examined his surroundings

Trying to create peace with his environment.

How did he come to be in this place?

What led him to this point of isolation?

He was no longer able to proceed forward

For a mountain of words stood in his way.

Poor Grandma

I was doing some catch up on posts today and trying to figure out what I wanted to write about. Came across this post from Things That Bother Me.

It's titled Grandma Got Run Over By My Ford Truck

If you haven't checked out his blog, you should. He's got a nice writing style and is always funny.

And I'm still not writing about my date with "Rudolph" Bryan. Only because I'm saving up to write about our next date...which is tomorrow night and my heart is about to explode I'm so excited. I am jumping for joy! If I were a reindeer I'd be flying around the room. This man gives my insides the flutters. He is one special guy, and handsome, and funny, and a good kisser, and cute....

Now where was I? Oh yes, poor Grandma!

Cherished

Her beauty was the color of sunshine.
She was displayed for other's enjoyment.
She spent her life hoping she'd be picked and adored.
She watched as those beside her left;
Oh how she wanted the same!
How sad she was to not feel needed
Over time she aged
She worried at first that this would make her less desirable.
One day someone spied her amongst the others and gently picked her up.
She was certain this person made a mistake for the others appeared to be the better choice.
She braced herself waiting to be discarded,
But the person looked at her as if they found a treasure!
Wide-eyed and smiling the person shielded her as they walked to a hill,
marveling along the way at their good fortune.
Confused no more she let herself feel appreciated.
She was kissed and into the wind she blew.
She danced merrily in flight,
Finally understanding she did not need to be adored,
For she knew what it meant to be cherished

photo from tki-health-om.blogspot.com

The World Wide Open

This is the place
Where sadness can go
In quiet desperation
Released into the world wide open

This is the place
Where hate can take form
Anger meets frustration
Released into the world wide open

This is the place
Where fear can roam
Dividing a great nation
Released into the world wide open

This is the place
Where courage can break through
An overnight sensation
Released into the world wide open

This is the place
Where hope can spread
With a little imagination
Released into the world wide open

This is the place
Where peace can run free
It's ours for creation
Released into the world wide open

Very Full Heart

I watched this movie last night that I had DVR'd (greatest invention since Cadbury Eggs). It was called "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom.

Cheesy? Yes. Over the top emotionally? Yes. Predictable? Yes. Gave me a good, healthy cry? Yes.

The critics overwhelmingly disliked this movie.

I loved it. It felt good. We need more of these types of stories and movies. I wanted to be taken on this cheesy, emotional movie ride. I was okay with pretending I didn't know what was going to happen because I knew it'd take me to a place of gratitude. The movie/story comes from goodness. Those cheesy messages it delivered were all true.

I absolutely loved this part of the movie and have decided to share it in its entirety. The rabbi is telling the story called "He Sleeps in a Storm"

Here it is:

"A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.'

"The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man.

"Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.

"Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.

"So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.

"He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins.

"He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.

"And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm."

"My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm.

"And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete."

-- "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom, page 93, From a Sermon by the Reb (Rabbi Albert Lewis), 1975

 

This movie was on the Hallmark Channel. If you have a chance, try and find the re-broadcast. It's worth it.

 

I went to bed with tears in my eyes last night and a very full heart.

Chicken

The Peanut is wound up. Nana Rose arrived today from Albuquerque. Mom and I are ready to crash, but The Nut is like a Timex watch. Wish I could say the same for myself.

I'll have a little more time to write tomorrow. It's going to be a nice Thanksgiving. I look forward to sharing.

I will leave you with this lovely note that Peanut gave to me this evening. I'm still scratching my head on this one and wondering where she came from.

It says,

"I love you like old men love chicken"

What You See - A Crappy Poem From a Mentally Blocked Blogger

I can't find the next verse,
I guess it could be worse.

I can't find my style,
Really, it's been a while.

I can't find the key,
Though it lies deep inside me.

I can't find my vision,
Decisions, decisions, decisions!

I can't find my prose,
It's gone I suppose.

But I have found me
What you get is what you see

A Celebration of "The Golden Sky" and a Tribute to Your Inner Child

When your child cries, you comfort her and wipe her tears away.

When your child screams in terror, you pull her close and make her feel safe.

When your child succeeds you feel proud.

When your child fails you offer support.

When your child speaks up for herself, you applaud her bravery.

When your child can't find her voice, you guide her.

When your child is giving, you receive it well.

When your child is selfish, you model good character for her.

When your child is lonely, you show her how to connect.

When your child grows up, you hope she'll nurture her child the same way.

This is your gift to her.

And along the way you may discover this is the same gift you can give to your inner child.

Today I am participating in “The Golden Sky” Blog Fest. Elisa from The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom will be publishing her book, “The Golden Sky” tomorrow, November 18th. I am so excited about getting this book. If you’ve read Elisa’s blog then you know what a genuine, caring, beautiful, unique person she is. I imagine her book will be just as compelling as the stories she shares on a day to day basis with us all. Sharing her journey of losing her precious baby Zeke was not easy, but true to form, she did it in hopes that others who have suffered similar losses would find healing in her words.

Elisa, congratulations! This is your time to shine!

To participate in the blog fest she requested we write a story as a tribute to someone we’ve lost. I must admit, I’m having a hard time with this post. I have been fortunate enough in my life not to have unexpectedly lost a loved one. I had time to let these people know I cherished them, I had time for goodbyes (a rare gift). The losses were sad, but not tragic. Most of my losses were of my grandparents and I still carry the memories of the times I had with them…they’re a part of me. I came from them.

Over the past few years I've reconnected with my "inner child". Much of her life was spent feeling lost, and that was no way to live. I grieved her loss. I had to learn to love her with the same love that I give my own child. Along the way I think I may have just become a better person for it.

Not Happening

I must have started this post a dozen times this morning.

I examined possibilities

Tried to find new angles

Found myself on the edge of something really good

I cheered myself on

Nope, that idea won't work

Got distracted...

Meh, it's just not happening..........

A Bouncy Birthday

Since many of you do not post on the weekends I thought I'd give an early HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout out to BARB AT THIS AND THAT AS I BOUNCE THRU LIFE

Her birthday is Sunday, November 13th.

Happy Birthday, Special Lady! You bring joy to so many of us.

Now bounce on over there and wish her a happy birthday.

AS A REMINDER, IF YOU'D LIKE A BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT, SEND ME AN EMAIL OR COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT DAY YOUR BIRTHDAY IS. :)

Perfect Unison

She grew weary of the way it mimicked her.

It constantly pointed out her flaws.

It distorted her truths in a way that made them unrecognizable.

She loathed how it would just sit by quietly without saying anything even though it knew rage brewed within her.

It remained expressionless through these rants, denying her the very comfort she was screaming for.

"Surely I can find better company than you!" she spat.

She threw it down and it smashed to pieces.

Overwhelmed by her actions,

She slumped down next to it.

Each broken piece sobbed in agony.

At first she laughed, thinking she had won

Until she recognized its cries as her own.

Bits and fragments of bottled-up tears.

She sat there and cried in perfect unison with her mirror.


NOTE: THIS PIECE OF WORK IS FICTION AND DOES IN NO WAY REFLECT HOW I CURRENTLY FEEL...QUITE THE OPPOSITE IN FACT (I AM HAPPY TO REPORT)

Dear Mom - A Random Notecard From "The Nut"

"Dear Mom,

I think I deserve extra desert because I have good behaveyer.

1. I lissen when you tell me to turn off the tv.
She turned off the tv because I told her she wouldn't get dessert if she didn't.

2. I gave you lots of hugs and kisses.
More slobbery kisses than I suspect Padded Cell Princess' in-law's St Bernard, Beaufort could give...and her hugs almost knocked me off of my chair. I had to de-slime my face...but secretly I liked it.

3. __________________________________________ "
I have no clue what she was going to write here. She didn't have time to finish it because I was ordering for the 3rd time to go upstairs and change into jammies.

Are You Crazy?!!!!

I had a relaxing yet productive weekend. It was a weekend filled with surprisingly fewer naps than planned and I even woke up early Saturday and Sunday (I love when the time changes!). I didn't have Peanut and went from Thursday night to Sunday night without talking to her even once (she was on a camping trip with her dad). That part was tough, and I was so happy to hear that sweet little voice last night. 

But at least it gave me time to work on a very important mission:

Purging junk from my household.

Not the sugary kind of junk.

Are you crazy?!!!!

Check Ups

My writing started as a way to work through some sad and confusing times in my life, a way to alleviate the weight of that pain...even if it were for only a moment. There were times when it was a desperate attempt to explain myself..."I'm not crazy! This is why I hurt!" . More time than not the hidden agenda was to connect, any way I could, to a part of my life that I missed/lost.

It got me through, a bandage for my boo-boo's. I'd wear those bandages until they fell off.

And I didn't heal.

Upon a lengthy self examination I determined I was merely covering my truths instead of embracing them....so I opened up those wounds and tended to them, like a mother tends to a scraped knee...gently, lovingly. I gave myself permission to repeat this process as often as necessary.

That's when the healing began.

Eventually those wounds healed...the scars were magnificent proof of that!

I continue to look at those scars often, more times than not I've been able to find some healthy good that I missed where the old,malignant growth once was.

Now I write as a preventative measure...check-ups, if you will.

Just For Her

She walked a thin line
Her soul gripped the wire for security
Yet her arms floated freely, open with grace.
There was no net to catch her
Not even an "Oooh!" or an "Ahhhh!" to cheer her on.
No need for The Big Top.
This was just for her.
She reached the platform
And turned around to do it again

Happy Birthday, Nadine!

Today is Nadine's Birthday!!!!

Nadine is one of my best friends. I've known her since college. We were lucky enough to reconnect in Dallas in 1999 (or was it 1998?). We are more than sorority sisters, she's my rock. I think there are things I've told Nadine that I've never told anyone else...I know, hard to believe since I put it ALL out her on my blog...but there are.

Nadine was my first official "Follower". She doesn't leave comments and she doesn't have a blog (though I wish she would...hint, hint), but she'll usually email comments to me. In many ways when I do get to see her, it's like we haven't skipped a beat. She's lived as far away from me as Alaska and is now back in Florida...but still feels like she's been here all along.

Thank you, Nadine!

And have a very Happy Birthday!

President

I haven't had time really to write a "meaningful" post lately. Between house improvements and work and child, this momma is quite wiped. The good news is,..... those sad thoughts looping in my brain for the past year + (okay, past 2+ years) have noticeably subsided. I'm not consumed by them anymore. I'm attributing this to some growth and the fact that I have so much clutter in my house as a result of the remodeling that I simply don't have time for the clutter in my brain.

Since this needs to be a quick post, I thought I'd show some pictures from Halloweens past.

That's me in the middle with the big hair....I was a Garden Ho(e)...hee hee.

2001

You guessed it, I was Dressed to the Nines

2002

This one may be hard to see, but I couldn't find any better ones. Peanut was a

WalMart Greeter! She was quite social at 1 1/2, so I made her the vest.

2004

I miss Ugly Betty!

2006

I was a Witch Bitch in 2007...Get it? Rich Bitch? I know...not one of my best

Every Liberal Democrat should dress up as Sarah Palin at least once in their lifetime!

2008

Gotta run...There's a beauty pageant I want to enter in...the winner gets to be President.

The Joke Thief

Good morning! We have a special treat today. Lola agreed to do a guest post for me!

So she hauled her bag of funny over to my place. At first I wasn't sure if this was going to work because my neighbors are O  - L - D, OLD (not you Joy Joy)...and it appears our fresh Lola loves to moon people...and I just put a window in my kitchen!!!! I took that chance and I'm glad I did for she does not disappoint...and my neighbors have been whistling up and down the block...seems our Lola really knows how to put pep in their step!

I now turn my blog keys over to Lola!


Hi! Hi! It's me! It's Lola! I'm not lost! I know my home is really WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME

But Stephanie very kindly invited me to be her guest postess. Being here at Connecting With Stephanie is great because I truly do connect with Stephanie. You see, we have both been married to passive-aggressive narcissists.


Since we have that little factor in common, I decided to write about my ex-asswipe when he acted as if my jokes were shit, but then "forgot" they were mine and told them as if they were his and he was The Shit for being so funny.


One attribute of the passive-aggressive personality is that the partner "forgets" things he is supposed to do, like, in this case, giving credit where credit is due. But it's not simple forgetting. It's a way of causing problems, like majorly pissing me off. I don't know if a psychiatrist would say my ex is passive-aggressive, but I think it fits along with a slew of other diagnoses. Hey, he diagnosed me and said he would see to it that I spent the rest of my life in a mental hospital. I'm definitely not in a mental hospital, so I think I'll spend at least a few minutes out of the rest of my life writing about why he's such an idiot, should be in a mental hospital, or at least take the medication prescribed for him.


Here's what happened:


During the last 10 - 15 years of my marriage when I discovered people thought I was really funny, as in You are the funniest person I've ever met, sometimes I would make little jokes or comments when we were with a group of friends. The man with the small penis would get this pained expression on his face and shake his head at me and sometimes even tell me to stop, whining at me in front of everyone to quit as if I were being incredibly rude and obnoxious instead of making people laugh. Occasionally, he would even make a big display of stomping away in disgust.


I found this behavior quite humiliating, but eventually I started saying, Oh just cut it out. Or in private I might say, Don't fucking tell me what to do.

The change in my behavior came about because I noticed that after I said something funny, two or three days later I might hear t.m.w.t.s.p. repeating my joke to someone else without attributing it to me. He acted as if the funny line was all his idea and laughed as if it were hilarious. I wanted to slap the laugh right off his stupid face.

His real problem was that he couldn't stand for me or anyone else to top him. I also heard him repeat other people's jokes back to them and act as if he had made them up. It didn't exactly win him friends.


Anything  I did, he had to claim he did it better.
Oh I used to play that, he'd say when I played my most difficult piece on the piano. He took piano lessons for a couple of years and could barely play. I took lessons for ten years and was already playing when I started lessons because my older sisters had started me on the piano at home.
Early in our relationship when I foolishly told him what my IQ is, and it's not too shabby, he claimed his was off the charts. 

He always had to know more than I did. Always had to be the expert on everything. When I told him about existentialism, he researched it and then claimed he had learned about it from his girlfriend.



That was the real killer.


As some friends from our religious circle said, He always has to be in control. He always has to be the smartest person in the group.


I have news for him that he will probably never understand.
No one is in control all the time.
You cannot control other people. You can try, but it will end in misery.
You might be the smartest person in the group sometimes, but not always, and you don't have to be.
If you were so smart, then you wouldn't have lost me. And P.A.N., you wouldn't have lost Stephanie.

Infinities of love,


Lola

October is Blogger Birthday Month!

Happy Birthday to my favorite

Reality Challenged Dreamer

though she's really not reality challenged...and what's wrong with dreaming?

Have a wonderful day, my friend! Make this your best year ever!!!!!