I often think of what to write while I'm driving out to properties for work. Amazing how the words just flow through my brain and then just hit traffic when I'm sitting down and ready to type.
So I'm sitting here...waiting for all those magnificently profound and deep thoughts to come back.
Sigh
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I've had two amazing loves in my lifetime. I lost them both within a 10 month period. One was for two years, but long distance...yet I've never felt so deeply connected. It ended and another gift of love presented itself...and with that love brought a real promise for a complete family.
The loss of love still haunts me every now and then...I've discovered that it's usually when my life is going along smoothly. I've been drama free where relationships are concerned for some time now. Even saying good-bye to The Boogieman wasn't all too difficult. It was a pretty clean break.
You'd think that I'd be happy to not have relationship drama, but as it turns out, I need it. I miss it! I know...habits of a Recovering Drama Queen are hard to break, and although I have a seat up front on the wagon, my hand is firmly placed on the ejector button. Do I miss my two loves? Of course I do! If Russell showed up on my doorstep tonight...
But I miss the hurt more.
I totally understand what you are saying here. You get so used to all of the drama in your life that when it is gone it seems like something is missing. Did I forget to feed the dog? Pick up the dry cleaning maybe? Nope, I forgot to spend half of my day wrapped up in drama. Don't worry, eventually this will pass but don't be surprised if it comes back to visit every now and then.
ReplyDeleteMy first love was when I was 18. I found out he killed a girl. The asshole is in jail now. I am not even kidding. My luck is just that great!Hmmm... I think I might have to post about this soon.
ReplyDeletePickles, you gotta write about that one!
ReplyDeleteBeing a drama-queen then not being a drama-queen takes a lot of willpower! You seem to be doing great...from one former drama-queen to another.
ReplyDeletelol yeah that might be one that I just share with you in a private email. I will have to think about making it public :)
ReplyDeleteIt's tough being alone. I think women have that need to be loved and cherished even if there is fighting involved. However good for you. Don't worry. when you least expect it love and drama will come right back into your life..
ReplyDelete