Welcome Back Squash

It's official...I'm the "cat lady"...ughhh.

Russell called Joy Joy to tell her that he'd be bringing Squash to her (so she could bring him to me). He couldn't handle bringing him to me, so this was just easier. If my dad and Cheeto weren't in town visiting I think I would have had a much harder time with this...cried, of course, but dusted myself off...

I now have three cats! Squash, Percy and Buddy...yipes! Buddy is a "loaner" cat, so he'll be eventually going back to Sandi. Surprisingly they are getting along pretty well and nighttime has been overall peaceful. Whew!

Squash is a funny little dude. He drinks water from the tap, hangs over the tub when Peanut takes a bath, chases the plastic milk rings around the house and plays fetch. He hangs over furniture and countertops in a way that makes him look like a bear rug, and drops toys in his food dish. Overall a very "doggish cat".

I keep asking him to tell me about how Russell is doing, but so far he hasn't given anything up from his "bachelor days" with Russell. Oh well.

A Much Needed Fun Night Out

Went with my friend Tracy to see Pauly Shore at the Improv. I needed a good laugh and a night out. We had a great time. He was good and I really thought the guy who opened for him was hysterical. I'll admit it, I like Pauly Shore movies. They're great on Saturday or Sunday afternoons when you're crashing on the couch.

My Funny Valentine

At first I didn't even see him in the pile!

Okay, so I spent Valentine's Day alone. All in all it pretty much sucked, but I did get a nap in and pampered my body. Percy and Bud Bud were my valentines. They were pretty easy, all I had to do was feed them...actually withholding the food makes them more affectionate...but I didn't tease them for long.

I was making piles of laundry to do and had my clothes in a heap on my bedroom floor. Big Bad Bud Bud decided the liked to burrow in the laundry. Not exactly the sexy valentine photos I had hoped to be taking, but he was my funny valentine!

My Daughter the Elephant

I was driving Peanut back to Robert D's house after ballet this morning. She asked me who named Barkley and I told her that I did. Then I told her I picked the name out because it was easy to remember (dogs bark). Then I told her about her rattle named "Chickee" that she just loved and she asked me if we still had it and if I was going to give it to her cousin, "Sprout". I said of course not and that I was saving it in a box of special baby things. Then she said that was good and that I should not give away the pool ball. Pool ball? Had no clue what she was talking about so I asked her to explain, ...she said, "Awe come on mom, you know what I'm talking about". First, she sounded so adult and second, how she ever remembered that this tiny squishy ball was in a tub of toys going to Sprout is beyond me. My daughter, the elephant, never forgets...only she did forget that she maybe played with this ball ONCE! Yes, I find it funny that I'm saying she's an elephant when her nickname is Peanut.

The Little One

Called Peanut tonight to wish her a goodnight as I often do on the nights I don't have her with me. I love the age she's at because she talks more now. She didn't have school today because of the snow we had yesterday, so they'll have to do their Valentine's Day party on Tuesday (no school Monday, lucky girl!). I pick her up Saturday mornings for ballet (when it's not my weekend). I asked her if she was ready to dance tomorrow and she said, "No, mommy, I'm ready to see you." Big joy always comes from my little one.

That Thursday Night

My last group session was very emotional. It started out a typical Thursday session and then we got to the good-bye's. I got to say what each person meant to me and vice versa. I'd done this before when other group members have left, so I knew what to expect...but I still felt ill-prepared. It's amazing to describe how much a person means to you when they're right there in front of you. The eye contact is so intense and the emotions so genuine. I was told by one group member that he used to see the crying I've done in group as a sign of weakness, but he realized that from that crying came a lot of strength and courage. Another expressed that I was the heart and soul of the group. Not a word was spoken that didn't warm my heart and I hope the feelings I expressed did the same. Susan was last to say good-bye. She said that she was honored to be my Thursday Mom and that I should always remind myself that I'm irreplaceable. That comment was the most meaningful of all as I've spent almost my whole life and probably every relationship trying to feel that very thing...irreplaceable.

I'll carry the events of that Thursday night with me...a silent companion for my future.

Thank You, Nadine!

Thank you, Nadine, for all the kind emails you send me. Thank you for keeping in contact like you do. If only Alaska were around the corner...


You are my best friend.
D-Love,
Stephanie

Trusty Blog

Ahhhh! My Trusty Blog, I am back and I've missed you. Must work now, but I will catch up with you later. It's been a long couple of weeks.