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I'm a Recovering Drama Queen. I got tired of the same old lines.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What I Love Wednesdays

I love having a favorite restaurant and sharing that experience with family and friends.

I've been frequenting this restaurant for about a year and a half. It's an Italian restaurant (non-chain). The waitstaff knows me...particularly Mo. Mo is one of the last truly classy waiters. He's a career waiter and so good at it. You get great service from Mo. He remembers me each time, remembers Peanut's name...asks about her when I don't come in with her. We're always greeted with hugs.

This restaurant has a very old time feel to it. Reminds me of restaurants I used to go to with my family as a child...back in the days when eating out was a treat and a rarity.It also has an old time feel because we were there at 5:45...early birds love this place...and you can tell most of them have been eating there for years.  I've had many a Thursday night after group dinner there, gone there on dates, birthdays, Mother's Day...and I plan on eating there for years also.

Took Peanut there last night. We got the royal treatment. Would have loved a glass of wine with that royal treatment, but lightweight drinker me can't even drive after half a glass...so pleasantly tipsy high will just have to wait for another time. We had a great dinner and even managed to get homework done in-between. We sat, relaxed...and didn't have a care in the world. You can add that feeling to the list of what I love as well.

We made our reservations for Mother's Day lunch. Nana will be in town, and it's Peanut's 7th birthday. Talk about a Mother's Day gift!

Cheers to have a favorite place to dine!

It's Wednesday!!!! What do you love?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stepping Away from the Plastic

I called my credit card company this morning to activate my card...usually you just enter some info and an electronic voice tells you the card is ready for use...but this time I actually spoke to a human! I was trying to coax The Peanut out the door for school and didn't expect the delay on the phone, so it was a bit annoying. It took me a minute to get into being nice, I have no patience for this kind of stuff...probably the only time I'm rude. I'm usually the person who looks you straight in the eye in the elevator, smiles and says "Good afternoon" (good morning, etc...)....and I almost always get a smile back.

So it took an extra two minutes for me to confirm that I was indeed the person holding the card. Half way through I decided best to be civil (and hoped he didn't hear my sighs of frustration). The guy was pretty nice, and then he hit me with, "I see you've been with us for 21 years"....Whoa, Nellie!! (he didn't say Whoa, Nellie...I did)

It was cool to be able to reply, "Yes, and I haven't missed a single payment"...but that just started him on on some new program on how to increase my rewards. I managed to politely cut him off and scoot The Peanut out the door without incident.

I'm driving her to school and it hits me that I've had a credit card for half my life! That's almost three times my daughter's life, roughly 7,670 days...countless retail therapy dollars, plane trips, dinners, house repairs, frivolous purchases, on-line shopping trips...and this guy was telling me how to increase my rewards! What I really need is a lesson in stepping away from the plastic.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Who's There?

And now, for your reading pleasure, the bestest Easter joke ever!

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Ether who?

Ether Bunny

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Andy Who?

Andy 'nother Ether Bunny (If we were in person you'd look at me with disgust)

Knock Knock!

Who's there? (You can't help but ask at this point)


Stella who?

Stella 'nother Ether Bunny (More glares as you wonder why you're going along with this)

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Consumption who? (you say in a really irritated voice)

Consumption be done about all these Ether Bunnies?!!!!!!

And with that I say "Happy Easter!", and you'll probably never again ask, "Who's there?"

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Farewell My Chocolate, Gooey, Wrapped Friend

It's the end of Cadbury Egg Season. I think I've had my fill for the year...but I did stock up on a few just in case.

Farewell, my chocolate, gooey, wrapped friend!
Until next year!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What I Love Wednesdays

I love when children speak unfiltered, especially when it comes to processing relationships.

Peanut - "Mom, who is your best friend?"

Me - "Nadine, Joy Joy and Tracy. I have more than one and can't choose." (JJ & Tracy, if you didn't already know this I consider you "Besties")

Peanut - "I think The Boogieman should be your best friend" (she used his real name, of course)

Me - "Why is that, sweet girl?"

Peanut - "Well, you must be his. Come on mom, you know he likes you"

Me - "He does, hmmm?"

Peanut - "Yes, he must because he sang your favorite song to you"

Me - "Yes, that was really special"....


She never knew that we dated, only that he was a friend. She never met him either, so it must have been something she read in my face that morning that he sent me the song.

Speaking of The Boogieman, I'm frustrated...but for today we'll stick to What I Love. It is Wednesday, after all.

What do you love?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Larger Bowl

Yesterday I felt like a complete fish out of water. It is hard not living in the neighborhood where Peanut's school is (Robert D's neighborhood has the better school). I still park across the street from the school and walk to pick her up in the afternoons. I relish that time we have walking and talking...It's almost as good as living in the neighborhood.

Facing the facts, I'm a single, working woman with a child...so it's going to be foreign to go into married family homes...especially in Robert D's neighborhood.

Yesterday morning I get a text from him. "Are you taking Peanut to the soccer party at the "Blanks'" house?"
Me: "What soccer party?"
Robert D: "Oh, you must not have received the email. There's a party at 1pm today for all the girls on the soccer team"
Me: "We have another party to go to at 3pm that's 40 minutes away, but I'm sure we can go for a bit"

Now, this appears to be your normal miscommunication...but we actually talked about her Sunday birthday party when I picked up some of her things on Friday. I even asked if her birthday party would interfere with the birthday dinner for Uncle Brio (Robert D's brother's nickname)...So you would think he'd say something like "Oh! She has the soccer party that day as well"...but that would be asking too much of him...kind of like child support, always an afterthought and never timely. The other piece of this is the irritation I've had over soccer and other activities. I'm good with shuttling Peanut around for activities he signs her up for, but I can never count on him to do the same if I'm unable to take her to a class. He'll say he's taking her, and then not.

We arrive at the party and are greeted by some really nice people. The home is lovely. Nothing needs to be fixed, it's light, it's bright, it's comfy, it's big, and they have a beautiful backyard patio. This is always going to be tough for me until I have my own beautiful light and bright home...but yesterday I was overwhelmed with it.

Husbands and wives standing around talking about their homes, their kids, how they ran into each other at the park, church, etc. A family neighborhood. What I grew up with before my parents divorced (minus the McCastle sized homes).
Robert D. and the future Mrs. D walk in at about 1:30... and I immediately start wishing I hadn't eaten so many Cadbury Eggs this season...and I'm wondering if the future Mrs. D even eats...They started commenting on the new fence that the Blanks' just had done and how that would be a great thing to do for their home. Their 4200 SF McCastle...and all I could do was remember when my 1800SF townhome was packed to the ceilings with his stuff...tubs and boxes and stacks of shit all over the house...dishwasher not working, electrical outlets not working in certain places, walls cracking, window leaking...the sunlight in our kitchen that has no window (the cracks were that big)...and that anger just welled up inside of me...

I am jealous of this lifestyle. I'll admit that. No denying it. It's what I wanted all along...and the "home is where your heart is" crap is easy to say, but hard to live.  So I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm not feeling guilty for doing so. I don't have what I want. I don't want Robert D or his 4200 SF McCastle, that's not it...I'm just angry that he didn't make living in a nice home a priority when we were married...translation..."he didn't make me a priority".

I was one of two single parents at that party...and I felt out of place, less than

Wow! This pity party has been fun.

While I'm pouring on the melodrama I'll mention the second party we went to...great family, another beautiful home with a huge backyard (big enough for 2 bounce houses).

My fish bowl started feeling smaller and smaller (as did I)...

Nobody makes me feel that way but me, I do realize this...but I just couldn't set aside those feelings yesterday. I was "little".  Yesterday I just wanted the larger bowl.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

In For a Treat

This is probably more of a Facebook kind of post, but I have a confession to make....


Not all in one sitting, of course.

This is actually a first for me, I think. Two in one day?...absolutely, but three?????

Is it wrong that Easter is this Jewish girl's favorite holiday? I'm in it for the eggs. Those delicious eggs...and they're just waiting for me in a bowl in the kitchen.....

Save me, Dear Ether Bunny!

...and if you haven't heard my Ether Bunny knock knock joke, you're in for a treat.

What I Love Wednesdays

I love waking up the morning after a long, sleepless night and finding that the weight on my shoulders doesn't feel quite as heavy as it did the night before...and I let go...the bags under my eyes beg to differ, but today a small, carry-on should do just fine.

It's Wednesday, what do you love?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What I Love Wednesdays

Trying something new. I've noticed that a lot of bloggers have a certain day of the week that they post consistently. I've seen Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, so I'm choosing Wednesdays. Wednesdays are good for me...perhaps this will take away some of the "bite" of having to say goodbye to The Peanut for a few days...drop off day is Wednesday....sigh...

I've decided on What I Love Wednesdays...a day to celebrate things I love.

So here goes:

(1) It occurred to me last night, when walking Peanut to the car after soccer practice, that I love the way she'll give my hand a quick pump when I'm holding hers. We'll just be walking along and those pudgy fingers give a little squeeze...I don't even think she realizes that she does this, but I do, and I love it.

I'm only going to do one a week for myself...just something that happened during the week that made me stop and think, "I love this!"

It's Wednesday, what do you love?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Playground Saavy

I contacted Peanut's teacher yesterday about another child in her class. Something I never thought I'd have to do...tell her teacher that there's a girl who wants too badly to be Peanut's only friend.

I met this little girl at the Thanksgiving Feast last year. She was very sweet, don't get me wrong, but she seemed to cling a bit too much to Peanut. She was always making her cards and giving her little notes about being best friends. There was a neediness about this and I got a strange feeling about her. Nana picked up on it as well...and Mimi has also mentioned that she noticed it during her brief interaction at carpool on Tuesdays.

For months Peanut and this little girl had been asking for play dates together. Her first two  play dates ended up being at Robert D's house. We finally had a play date at our house a couple of weekends ago.


The mom dropped her daughter off without even stepping inside the house...that one always gets me because I like to make sure I know the parents before leaving them in charge of Peanut...plus it's always nice to make a new mommy friend.

Within minutes of the play date the girls were bickering, the bickering led to tears...most of it was typical kid stuff, but neither girl could seem to wind down to focus on actually playing with eachother. Our townhouse is set up in a way that you can pretty much hear everything going on. I was reading in my room when I overheard a concerning conversation. Peanut must have had a dream about another classmate (I missed the first part of the conversation)...her friend was insanely jealous, and I'm not just being a drama queen about this. She started screaming a Peanut that she was going to not be her friend anymore if she kept dreaming about the other classmate (odd, right?)...and that she was no longer her best friend if she wasn't Peanut's only best friend. This also would normally sound like typical kid stuff (think "You're not coming to my birthday party!"). But the tone this child took with my daughter was actually threatening. I tried not to intervene because I had already done so when the bickering and crying got out of control. Peanut was trying to tell her that she was her friend, but she wanted to have more than one best friend.

"My mom says I'm allowed to have more than one best friend"

So she does listen to what I say!

We had had this conversation several times before in the car on the way home from school. She'd tell me about not being allowed to play with other friends on the playground because this little girl either tried to tell her she couldn't be friends with other girls or would cry and Peanut would cave in. She monopolizes my child. I'm glad we had the chance to talk about good friendship behavior...I want her to know that nobody gets to tell her who her friends can be. Nobody gets to talk about or treat her friends in an unkind way. And she can have more than one best friend.

Back to the play date from HELL. When Peanut told her about having more than one friend, the girl ended up getting angrier and storming downstairs. They were just not getting along so I took the girl home...early...didn't even give the mom a chance to come pick her up. I wanted this girl out of my house...and I never thought I'd say that about a child. I wish I could remember the exact conversation that she had that got me so wierded out. Just know that this is no exaggeration. It felt unhealthy, alarming and my intuition just took over.

We dropped the little girl off and the mom invited us in for a minute. I told her it was not a good play date and that there was quite a bit of bickering and crying. I got a "girls will be girls" response from her, so I didn't push the other topic.

This totally did not sit with me well. I was even more concerned when last Friday Peanut told me that she wanted to play with a different classmate at recess, but this girl started crying...and then a teacher intervened and told her she had to be nice to this girl. Not faulting the teacher, of course, she probably didn't know the whole picture. Peanut made it out like she got in trouble for not being nice to this girl...so I did need to check the facts.

I sent her teacher an email yesterday stating my concerns and asking for input...had she observed anything out of the ordinary? This teacher is very good at being aware of classroom relationships. She did reply to me last night and said she had noticed the behavior and had been working with the little girl. Apparently she has told the little girl that Peanut is still her friend even when she chooses to play with other friends. This little girl is "very sensitive". She mentioned that this was a good enough situation to warrant maybe putting the girls in separate classes next year...that way they can be more independent...but still play with each other when they want at recess.


And the mom in me is saying, "What a relief! I haven't overreacted. There is an issue, and it can be worked out."

I want my child to have good, healthy friendships. I never want her to be dependent upon her friends. To some extent I did this as a child...I recognize a bit of myself in that little girl...maybe that's why I picked up on it so easily. But I didn't act out in a possessive way. I internalized it and felt "left" by friends who went off to play with other kids. I didn't have the social skills to handle this. I was a sensitive child and the neediness started very young. It wasn't until high school that I felt part of a group of friends...found the joy in having many friends with common interests. It wasn't until the past 4 years that I started to chip away at the neediness, the pressure that I was putting on my relationships.

My daughter is almost 7 and she's on the right track to being a caring friend, an independent thinker, and a strong individual.

I'm 42 and have only recently learned how to be playground saavy.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Four is Enough

Okay, Ms. Nadine and Ms Tracy, I got all excited 'cause I saw that I had more "Followers" and it turns out that you two are duplicates...

Not much to report today...ho hum! I am excited about picking my Peanut up from school today though.

Nadine, it's your turn to start blogging.

Juliana, I had to tell my friends about your blog. It has been great fun!

Tracy, step away from the Jelly Bean drawer!

Joy, Joy (she's so cool I have to say her name twice) - long time no post! I'm waiting (stomping feet)

...and having 4 "Followers" is really more than enough for me to feel connected.