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I'm a Recovering Drama Queen. I got tired of the same old lines.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Shula was an especially sensitive duckling. The slightest bit of cold water on her feathers sent her in a tizzy.

I was overly agreeable in my mid 20's, especially when it came to "keeping" a love interest. I refused to show disappointment if it meant there was the slightest possibility I might lose that person by doing so.

"You're just like a human, Shula!" the other ducklings told her, "You let the littlest things get you. Why can't you just let the water roll off your back like the rest of us do? What kind of duck are you that you let water bother you?"

"You let everything roll off your back like a duck!" he said to me. "How come nothing upsets you? You never let anything bother you."

Shula endured constant badgering.

He constantly devalued me and put me down.

Shula asked them why they did this and their reply was, "We'll keep doing it as long as you let us."

I said to him once, "So what you're saying is if others kick me down you'll kick me down further?" His reply was, "If you let me, sure."

Shula eventually moved to another pond, she didn't miss the other ducklings but their message lingered in her mind.

I broke up with David on my birthday. It was a present to myself...Not a day went by that I regretted that decision, but his words stuck.

Shula decided to reinvent herself...sure the cold water still bothered her, but she was no weakling...she could take it...even on the coldest of days...her mind was consumed with proving she could endure the cold water just as well as any duckling...eventually she was numb.

I resolved to do the exact opposite of letting things roll off my back. I was not going to put up with even the slightest injustice...my mind was often stuck on the negative. I was hypersensitive to how people treated me.  It was a full time job to fight those who wronged me, until none of my days were filled with joy...I was always angry.


  1. This is a repost of something I wrote in January and then removed. I don't have the ending quite like I want it.
    Shula is my Hebrew name and what Rudolph calls me.

  2. This is a lesson I try to teach my children. It's ok to let some things roll off of you and sometimes it's ok to fight. Great post and great lesson Steph! One of your best actually.

  3. "sure, if you let me" must have been tough to hear. but shula moved to another pond as a result of those words. sensitive people take longer to surround themselves with the right people. our society (or ecosystem:) is like a johnny one note, always telling us to toughen up. give me a break. sensitive people, or ducklings, have to find the right environment to thrive, and that includes who we surround ourselves with.

    1. Thanks for the thoughtful reply Ed! You are so right!

  4. Dear Stephanie,
    Ed's comment seems so true to me. And you? you are being true to yourself.


  5. Been there and done that. It was amazing that when I decided to not put up with it any more, the right man came along...looks like that's how it's working out for you too ;)

    1. It absolutely is working out for me. Rudolph is the best!

  6. You really have come a long way back to the days of more happiness than anger and I am so proud of you for giving someone else a chance to know your big, beautiful heart!!