I like how you take care of me
You brave Walmart
To find the right bulb for my dryer
When I feel low you pick me up
I've never felt higher
You fill my cup
With nickels so I can play
You've patiently let me be quiet
Knowing I can't always find the words I want to say
I like how you take care of me
We laugh, we love
I snore
You hold me close
And love me all the more
About Me
- Stephanie D
- I'm a Recovering Drama Queen. I got tired of the same old lines.
I'm so excited--I think I'm going to be able to post a comment on your blog again! What shall I say? THINK, FISHDUCKY, THINK!! Oh, yeah--thank you, Bryan/Rudolph for making this possible!! I hope this wasn't an accident. I'm going to try to read the comments on my guest post you did. Wish me luck.
ReplyDeleteAnd most of all, I LOVE YOUR POEM!!!!!
I did it!1 I read the comments on my guest post!!
ReplyDeleteLIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nicely done! Sorry it tood so long to get over here. I'm having trouble reading my email and blogs. My other eye is going. I'll be in and out till I can figure out how to get that machine that reads your stuff for you.
ReplyDeleteTTYL big hugs.
Now that's a bunch of sweet images.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather read your wonderful love story than watch The Notebook any day! ...pass the ice cream ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful poem, and I normally don't like poetry. Lovely stuff.
ReplyDeleteThis is sooo beautiful especially the way you ended it--so perfect!
ReplyDeletethis is a sweet read. i like the spirit a lot. but i also want to point out an alternative to this style. this much repetition is risky. i read it through a third time, only i didn't read any of the first lines of each graph, and it works. it's a much leaner beast that way. repetition is a gimmick best used sparingly. i think it would be more powerful with less.
ReplyDeleteNow I feel neglectful for never having been to a Walmart. Shame on me!
ReplyDeleteEd - Thank you for the your comment. I've changed the post, and I like it so much better as well.
ReplyDeleteit's definitely a different piece. i think it's stronger too. however, i'm not trying to play with you here:), but there might be a place for a second 'i like how you take care of me' later in the poem. that's up to you. a single repetition can be powerful. something to play with, if you want to. i'm a freak. my post up now i've massaged three different ways since posting.
ReplyDeletei confess, i like it a lot as it is. that's just me.
ReplyDeleteEd - Good, cause it's staying this way.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing ok. Just hanging in there until surgery! I hope you are good as well. I appreciate you checking up on me. I think you should send this to Walmart.
ReplyDeleteLove it love it love it love it loveit loveitloveit
ReplyDeleteI kinda like you.
Janieola
Damn. He braves Walmart for you?
ReplyDeleteHe's a keeper. :)
Awww, so sweet. A keeper for sure.
ReplyDelete