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I'm a Recovering Drama Queen. I got tired of the same old lines.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

All the More

I like how you take care of me

You brave Walmart
To find the right bulb for my dryer
When I feel low you pick me up
I've never felt higher

You fill my cup
With nickels so I can play
You've patiently let me be quiet
Knowing I can't always find the words I want to say


I like how you take care of me

We laugh, we love
I snore
You hold me close
And love me all the more

17 comments:

  1. I'm so excited--I think I'm going to be able to post a comment on your blog again! What shall I say? THINK, FISHDUCKY, THINK!! Oh, yeah--thank you, Bryan/Rudolph for making this possible!! I hope this wasn't an accident. I'm going to try to read the comments on my guest post you did. Wish me luck.

    And most of all, I LOVE YOUR POEM!!!!!

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  2. I did it!1 I read the comments on my guest post!!

    LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Nicely done! Sorry it tood so long to get over here. I'm having trouble reading my email and blogs. My other eye is going. I'll be in and out till I can figure out how to get that machine that reads your stuff for you.
    TTYL big hugs.

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  4. Now that's a bunch of sweet images.

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  5. I'd rather read your wonderful love story than watch The Notebook any day! ...pass the ice cream ;)

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  6. That's a beautiful poem, and I normally don't like poetry. Lovely stuff.

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  7. This is sooo beautiful especially the way you ended it--so perfect!

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  8. this is a sweet read. i like the spirit a lot. but i also want to point out an alternative to this style. this much repetition is risky. i read it through a third time, only i didn't read any of the first lines of each graph, and it works. it's a much leaner beast that way. repetition is a gimmick best used sparingly. i think it would be more powerful with less.

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  9. Now I feel neglectful for never having been to a Walmart. Shame on me!

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  10. Ed - Thank you for the your comment. I've changed the post, and I like it so much better as well.

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  11. it's definitely a different piece. i think it's stronger too. however, i'm not trying to play with you here:), but there might be a place for a second 'i like how you take care of me' later in the poem. that's up to you. a single repetition can be powerful. something to play with, if you want to. i'm a freak. my post up now i've massaged three different ways since posting.

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  12. i confess, i like it a lot as it is. that's just me.

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  13. Ed - Good, cause it's staying this way.

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  14. I'm doing ok. Just hanging in there until surgery! I hope you are good as well. I appreciate you checking up on me. I think you should send this to Walmart.

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  15. Love it love it love it love it loveit loveitloveit

    I kinda like you.

    Janieola

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  16. Damn. He braves Walmart for you?

    He's a keeper. :)

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  17. Awww, so sweet. A keeper for sure.

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