President

I haven't had time really to write a "meaningful" post lately. Between house improvements and work and child, this momma is quite wiped. The good news is,..... those sad thoughts looping in my brain for the past year + (okay, past 2+ years) have noticeably subsided. I'm not consumed by them anymore. I'm attributing this to some growth and the fact that I have so much clutter in my house as a result of the remodeling that I simply don't have time for the clutter in my brain.

Since this needs to be a quick post, I thought I'd show some pictures from Halloweens past.

That's me in the middle with the big hair....I was a Garden Ho(e)...hee hee.

2001

You guessed it, I was Dressed to the Nines

2002

This one may be hard to see, but I couldn't find any better ones. Peanut was a

WalMart Greeter! She was quite social at 1 1/2, so I made her the vest.

2004

I miss Ugly Betty!

2006

I was a Witch Bitch in 2007...Get it? Rich Bitch? I know...not one of my best

Every Liberal Democrat should dress up as Sarah Palin at least once in their lifetime!

2008

Gotta run...There's a beauty pageant I want to enter in...the winner gets to be President.

The Joke Thief

Good morning! We have a special treat today. Lola agreed to do a guest post for me!

So she hauled her bag of funny over to my place. At first I wasn't sure if this was going to work because my neighbors are O  - L - D, OLD (not you Joy Joy)...and it appears our fresh Lola loves to moon people...and I just put a window in my kitchen!!!! I took that chance and I'm glad I did for she does not disappoint...and my neighbors have been whistling up and down the block...seems our Lola really knows how to put pep in their step!

I now turn my blog keys over to Lola!


Hi! Hi! It's me! It's Lola! I'm not lost! I know my home is really WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME

But Stephanie very kindly invited me to be her guest postess. Being here at Connecting With Stephanie is great because I truly do connect with Stephanie. You see, we have both been married to passive-aggressive narcissists.


Since we have that little factor in common, I decided to write about my ex-asswipe when he acted as if my jokes were shit, but then "forgot" they were mine and told them as if they were his and he was The Shit for being so funny.


One attribute of the passive-aggressive personality is that the partner "forgets" things he is supposed to do, like, in this case, giving credit where credit is due. But it's not simple forgetting. It's a way of causing problems, like majorly pissing me off. I don't know if a psychiatrist would say my ex is passive-aggressive, but I think it fits along with a slew of other diagnoses. Hey, he diagnosed me and said he would see to it that I spent the rest of my life in a mental hospital. I'm definitely not in a mental hospital, so I think I'll spend at least a few minutes out of the rest of my life writing about why he's such an idiot, should be in a mental hospital, or at least take the medication prescribed for him.


Here's what happened:


During the last 10 - 15 years of my marriage when I discovered people thought I was really funny, as in You are the funniest person I've ever met, sometimes I would make little jokes or comments when we were with a group of friends. The man with the small penis would get this pained expression on his face and shake his head at me and sometimes even tell me to stop, whining at me in front of everyone to quit as if I were being incredibly rude and obnoxious instead of making people laugh. Occasionally, he would even make a big display of stomping away in disgust.


I found this behavior quite humiliating, but eventually I started saying, Oh just cut it out. Or in private I might say, Don't fucking tell me what to do.

The change in my behavior came about because I noticed that after I said something funny, two or three days later I might hear t.m.w.t.s.p. repeating my joke to someone else without attributing it to me. He acted as if the funny line was all his idea and laughed as if it were hilarious. I wanted to slap the laugh right off his stupid face.

His real problem was that he couldn't stand for me or anyone else to top him. I also heard him repeat other people's jokes back to them and act as if he had made them up. It didn't exactly win him friends.


Anything  I did, he had to claim he did it better.
Oh I used to play that, he'd say when I played my most difficult piece on the piano. He took piano lessons for a couple of years and could barely play. I took lessons for ten years and was already playing when I started lessons because my older sisters had started me on the piano at home.
Early in our relationship when I foolishly told him what my IQ is, and it's not too shabby, he claimed his was off the charts. 

He always had to know more than I did. Always had to be the expert on everything. When I told him about existentialism, he researched it and then claimed he had learned about it from his girlfriend.



That was the real killer.


As some friends from our religious circle said, He always has to be in control. He always has to be the smartest person in the group.


I have news for him that he will probably never understand.
No one is in control all the time.
You cannot control other people. You can try, but it will end in misery.
You might be the smartest person in the group sometimes, but not always, and you don't have to be.
If you were so smart, then you wouldn't have lost me. And P.A.N., you wouldn't have lost Stephanie.

Infinities of love,


Lola

October is Blogger Birthday Month!

Happy Birthday to my favorite

Reality Challenged Dreamer

though she's really not reality challenged...and what's wrong with dreaming?

Have a wonderful day, my friend! Make this your best year ever!!!!!

It's Cinderita's Birthday Also!!!!

Two special birthdays in one day!

Today also happens to be Rita's Birthday!

Rita, sending you lots of virtual hugs, my friend. You are someone special!

It's Soph's Birthday

Today there is another birthday amongst our bloggerhood neighbors.

Soph's birthday is today!

Happy Birthday to you, missy!

Soph always has fun stories to tell about dating and does great interviews (Yes, I never got you the answers for my interview....guilty, oops, sorry)....plus the girl can pick some great music to share!

Some of you may know about her 2nd blog, but if you don't, here it is:

Knitting and Vodka

Again, Happy Birthday...and many happy returns.

Window of Opportunity

Hello!

Just have time for a quick post. I'm in the process of having some work done to my townhouse...and everything is topsy turvey. I can't wait to post photos of the before and after.

Good news though, I seized the moment and decided to have a window put in my kitchen! My townhouse is so dark in the kitchen/living room area, it's almost depressing...well, it is depressing. I need light and bright!

It felt so good to have them knock out the wall behind the sink...sunlight poured through my little window of opportunity!

Happy Birthday Julianna!

Today we celebrate a birthday for a favorite blogger of mine. She was one of my first "neighbors" in this bloggerhood (aka, the first person who "followed" me that wasn't a friend!).

She has a wonderful way of reaching out that always makes you feel welcome. And when her writing is not leaving us all in stitches, she creating memories for herself, her family and friends...stitch by stitch (seriously! Have you seen what she's sewn?)

Happy Birthday Julianna at Surviving Boys! 

You're something special, my friend.

Okay, now you can click on her name and wish her a happy birthday!

Season Tickets

I'm usually a very patient person when we go to movies or live theatre where children are involved. I'm even pretty patient at restaurants.  Friday night there was a family sitting behind us at the theatre (we were seeing Oliver, remember?). They had 3 kids. An infant, a 4-ish year old girl and a 3-ish year old boy. The little girl talked through the whole thing, "I'm hungry." "Mommy, I'm thirsty". "I can't see" (they were 5th row and there was nobody sitting in the seat next to me, so she had a perfect view). Then she had to sit on mom's lap and mistakenly kicked my shoulder.

Okay, so I can handle that usually. But these kids did not let up! At one point the little boy smacked the girl in the face and more fussiness started (I didn't see this happen, our friend who went with us did). Then the baby cried...but they didn't take her out. They let her fuss, just like the other kids.

So I did what any normal person would do, I kept looking back with a stern look on my face. I didn't want to tell them to take them out, because this is after all, a kids show.

BUT....

This went on for THE ENTIRE SHOW....one hour of distractions. It was obvious these kids were too young for a show like this. Way too young.  I'm happy to report Peanut and her friend behaved perfectly during the entire show. Not a peep, unless it was to laugh or clap or whisper a question about something they didn't understand.

The show ends and we collect our stuff to leave. One of the ladies that was with this family overheard me saying that I hoped they didn't have season tickets. We do, so I hate to think of going to 4 more shows with this noise. She looked at me and said, "Is there a problem?" She didn't wait for me to answer..."they're just kids and this is a kids show"

"Yes," I said. "This is a kids show, but it was the entire time."

She didn't reply, but glared at me.

Oooh!!! I hate stuff like this. Chaps my tushy buns!

On the one hand she was right, kids are kids and they're gonna make noise at a kids show...don't get me wrong, I get this. I really do. My own child is not always perfect either...but those kids were above and beyond the normal kid distractions.

Let's hope they do not have season tickets!

PS - We did still have a wonderful time...and just as I thought, her eyes were glued to the stage the whole time!

Stay with Me

Tonight is opening night at the theatre I take Peanut to. We've been going for about a year and a half now.

I believe the first show I took her to was Cinderella.

It was magical! There's nothing better than watching a child's face when they are introduced to live theatre. She sat at the edge of her seat the entire time, mesmerized. No wiggling around, no, "I want a snack"...She absorbed it all in and it left her wanting to see more.

I can remember my mom taking me to plays and musicals and even live Shakespeare at Viscaya in Miami. I want to say the first memory I have of stage acting was a children's theatre near Matheson Hammock Park in Coral Gables, FL. It was a much smaller production than what we saw and the actors involved the audience in the show. I still have the image of being there (tucked away with my other great childhood memories).

I can't be sure that Peanut's first theatre experience will be among her great childhood memories, but the delight on her face will always stay with me.

P.our M.e S.omething

I have PMS so bad even I'm afraid of me. Well, not afraid...just cranky. Littlest things setting me off. We bought this stupid candy making craft thing on Sunday and it tasted so gross...not to mention it was a total mess. We threw it all away. Cleaning the goop was such a mess that I threw away the plastic measuring cups as well. Somehow tossing that shit in the trash felt liberating...even though now I'm going to have to buy new cups.

pour me some whine

The Peanut has trashed our house. Two minutes after she cleans up (when she cleans up) she craps up the house all over again. IT. IS. DRIVING. ME. NUTS!!!!!!

pour me a shot of anti-OCD

My allergies are pissing me off. Nose is itchy, really itchy...and my ears too! I need an allergy shot, but won't have time to get to doctor to get one until next week. Yes, I've tried all the stuff that's "supposed" to work...and nothing. Itchy, bitchy me!

pour me some benadryl

Woke up at 4am when I heard it storming outside. Great! Now that pesky garage leak is back. Damn flat roof garages! So I got up to use the restroom and laid back down in bed. Peanut was snoring away (Yes, she STILL sleeps in my bed...and last night so did her stuffed animals!). I started smelling something yucky and thought maybe she tooted.

Then I heard this squirting noise and it was coming from my closet!

BUMPER KITTY HAD DIARRHEA IN MY CLOSET!!!!!!!!

I shit you not. Thatdamn sweet little kitty has been sneaking downstairs and eating the other kitties' food...which upsets his tummy...so rather than using his litter box he decides the floor in my closet will do...actually, to be fair, the poor thing just can't hold it. So at around 4:30am I'm cleaning the steaming pile up from my carpet and tossing the blanket and jeans he soiled into the washing machine.

pour me some oxy clean

One hour later my alarm goes off...so I hit the snooze button...three times.

Waking Peanut up and getting her out of the house was exceptionally annoying. For the first time, ON MY WATCH, she was tardy for school. The combo of her dawdling, not making any green lights, and a carpool line around the corner and she was 2 minutes late. Boogers!

"P.our  M.e  S.omething "

I could use some silliness, please.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACY

Today is Tracy's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is but for the next month and a half we'll both be the same age and I'm 42!

That's it,
That's all,
I have nothing more to write.

What are you doing still reading my blog?????

Go to Tracy's site and wish her a happy birthday already!

Apples

We walked in healthy that day.

Everyone settled into their seats as our session began. She chose us for this group, a bushel of apples ripe for picking.

It was good to be with my Thursday "family". We skipped a week, but that was to fill our bellies with honey.

For a change we each spoke of our accomplishments. The room was at peace as we told great stories of how we handled our lives... proof that we grew over the last two weeks. We were confident this was a sign that maybe we wouldn't need the full two hours that day! After all, we were in a good place.

"This is all good, but look deeper," she said. The smiles faded from our faces as we delved into the very core of our beings. We peeled back our shiny, polished exteriors and examined ourselves...once more...because she asked us to...because we could without feeling the pain of being sliced open.   

We walked out healthier that day.

Wimpy

"I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." Wimpy from Popeye

I need connection with people. It's how I'm nourished. Emotions are a staple in my life. I count my relationships like calories. There have been times in my life where I filled myself up on empty relationships knowing full well I'd have to pay for the emotional deficiencies later. I became pale and listless.

"I'd gladly feel bad tomorrow for a connection today."

That person doesn't exist today for the most part, though I do have to fend off occasional cravings.

Thankfully, I'm no longer wimpy.