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I'm a Recovering Drama Queen. I got tired of the same old lines.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

P.our M.e S.omething

I have PMS so bad even I'm afraid of me. Well, not afraid...just cranky. Littlest things setting me off. We bought this stupid candy making craft thing on Sunday and it tasted so gross...not to mention it was a total mess. We threw it all away. Cleaning the goop was such a mess that I threw away the plastic measuring cups as well. Somehow tossing that shit in the trash felt liberating...even though now I'm going to have to buy new cups.

pour me some whine

The Peanut has trashed our house. Two minutes after she cleans up (when she cleans up) she craps up the house all over again. IT. IS. DRIVING. ME. NUTS!!!!!!

pour me a shot of anti-OCD

My allergies are pissing me off. Nose is itchy, really itchy...and my ears too! I need an allergy shot, but won't have time to get to doctor to get one until next week. Yes, I've tried all the stuff that's "supposed" to work...and nothing. Itchy, bitchy me!

pour me some benadryl

Woke up at 4am when I heard it storming outside. Great! Now that pesky garage leak is back. Damn flat roof garages! So I got up to use the restroom and laid back down in bed. Peanut was snoring away (Yes, she STILL sleeps in my bed...and last night so did her stuffed animals!). I started smelling something yucky and thought maybe she tooted.

Then I heard this squirting noise and it was coming from my closet!


I shit you not. Thatdamn sweet little kitty has been sneaking downstairs and eating the other kitties' food...which upsets his tummy...so rather than using his litter box he decides the floor in my closet will do...actually, to be fair, the poor thing just can't hold it. So at around 4:30am I'm cleaning the steaming pile up from my carpet and tossing the blanket and jeans he soiled into the washing machine.

pour me some oxy clean

One hour later my alarm goes off...so I hit the snooze button...three times.

Waking Peanut up and getting her out of the house was exceptionally annoying. For the first time, ON MY WATCH, she was tardy for school. The combo of her dawdling, not making any green lights, and a carpool line around the corner and she was 2 minutes late. Boogers!

"P.our  M. S.omething "

I could use some silliness, please.


  1. Feel any better after that tirade?

  2. Screw Benadryl. NyQuil is where it's at.

    Feel better soon.

  3. Oh, dear! You are having a bad time, but it will pass, so just hang in there. You'll be able to laugh about it all, as we are doing now (sorry!).

  4. I feel like I need to teach you how to be more irritable. As entertaining as I would find it to blame PMS for this, everything in your tirade would probably set me off on a loud cursing rant invoking many things I should not leave in a comment box on your blog.

  5. Oh goodness I'm sorry! That sounds miserable (especially steaming cat diarrhea in your closet!). Since you're PMSing, here's something you can use:

    Now periods can be called Shark Week!

  6. I, myself, prefet natural medications. Instead of Oxy Clean, you can take ouzo. And, instead of Benadryl, there's always bourbon--or, if you're feeling upper class, brandy should work.

  7. Tony VH - Yes, the tirade helped...for a bit!
    Joshua - Nyquill gets me super loopy...no fun...sing
    Desiree - no apology necessary for laughing at my mishaps...I'm already laughing
    Maxwell - next time I'll be more irritable...promise!
    PCP - You are a trip! Loved the picture!!!! And will definitely call my period Shark Week from now on.
    Fishducky - unfortunately I've never been a bourbon or brandy kind of girl...now a good glass of port or even plum wine or a frozen blue margarita can do the trick!

  8. Dear Stephanie, as "Tony" pointed out right away--in your first comment--this was a humdinger of a "tirade." Everywhere you looked things were going wrong! Steaming poop, noisy leaks, dribbling nose. Everything!

    And so now you've laughed. I hope that made everything better. It always does for me!


  9. Holy crap, that would make the calmest of women a tyrant. That's a lot for one day. I say pour you some tequila!!! Here's to better days!

  10. Oh you know I love ya darlin and totally sympathize but I couldn't stop giggling over the cat and the diarrhea! Sorry lovely one!! xo

  11. Stephanie Darling, I'm a little afraid to leave a comment. Perhaps Valium is called for. I am sorry about the pooping kitty, but you know it doesn't really matter if The Peanut was a wee bit late to school. Slow deep breaths. In through the nose (if decongestant works). Out through the mouth.


  12. Wine will work--& since it's really just old fruit juice, it's good for you,too!

  13. I heard someone say today that cleaning the house when you have children is like shoveling the walks before it snows. For some reason it made sense to me. lol I feel your pain girl. I'm back. Put my mom on a plane today and already miss her.

  14. UGH! I had sympathy pains for each portion of your post along with you. Yucky kitty squirts, snoring princesses and leaky roofs...Calgon, take me away. And by Calgon, I mean a very handsome stranger that looks like Fabio or someone equally as exotic, but brunette. I am pretty sure I don't like blond guys.

  15. Wow, you definitely need a drink. Good Lord. Pooping kitties are the worst! Don't worry about trying to keep the house clean - I can say from experience it is futile until Peanut is much older!

  16. Plain Jane- thanks for following and for your comments. Welcome!

    Fish Ducky- I couldn't agree more! Had a glass of wine tonight!

    Avg Girl- go ahead and laugh, please!!!

    Lola- you crack me up

    Barb, Dee,Melynda - I'm doing much better! Thanks fir pep talk!

    Tracy- what color was your hubbys hair when he had hair? :-)

  17. Haven't we all had days like this.... ugh!! I have to say, though, it made me smile a little, just knowing I'm not suffering alone on these days... and also having read some of your more recent posts so I know things got waaaaay better for you rather soon. :)