These Things That Make Life- EDITED

Happy Friday!

Here are some bits and pieces of me from this past week:

Watched "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" with Peanut on Tuesday night. Amazing to watch your kid's wheels turning as they try and figure out the meaning behind a story. "Why are his leaves falling off his legs? What do you think that means? Why can't he stay with them? ....." Huge conversation about compassion, acceptance and the important role people play in our lives regardless of the amount of time you get with them... We had a good cry over characters we didn't personally know, but really, it was a nice outlet for our own life's tears.

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Wednesday's Facebook Status Post:

"There will always be a person who can make your life meaningful...
don't believe me? Look in the mirror.
I know, I know...I go thru one little breakup and suddenly I'm like excerpts from a self help book"

I had a wonderful old friend who commented on this post with this:
"It is the rougher spots in life that shape our views the strongest - you're just letting your rough spot polish you to a brilliant shine!"
I don't know if it's that I just pick good friends or I'm lucky they picked me...probably both.

***

Did I mention that I got pharyngitis earlier this week and left work early on Monday and was out all of Tuesday? Yah, fancy word for really bad sore throat with a mild fever. So glad I didn't get the flu.

Did I also mention that my ex's parents kept Peanut for me all day Monday thru Tuesday morning when they took her to school for me? Peanut's dad was out of town and they stepped in...mostly because they didn't want her to catch what I had, but also because we're family.

***

This morning 20% of my annual salary was given to me as an annual bonus by my employer. To say I'm blown away by their generosity (yet again) is an understatement!

***

So that's my story for the week...one of compassion, understanding, acceptance, generosity, honesty, and the importance of a good cry when it hurts achieving these things that make life.

Light and Happy

Light and happy were the days
she'd spend when she no longer
feared the bottom would fall
out from under her. 

The Photos of Christmas Eve Past

Back peddling a little bit this morning. Thought I'd post some pictures from December. My ex's parents have been wonderful to me over the past 6 years. I've mentioned this before. Our relationship is quite extraordinary. In 2011 both of their sons were going to be out of town for Thanksgiving, so they celebrated early. This left them with no plans on the actual day of Thanksgiving. My mom was in town, so we made a Turkey Day dinner at my house. It was pretty awesome.

This past Christmas both sons were away Christmas Eve. My mom happened to be in town so we made plans at our favorite restaurant for the 5 of us. It was a hard day for me because Rudolph and I were pretty much on the outs and my world had just changed dramatically. It meant so much to me that they wanted to share their Christmas Eve with me.

They took Peanut to church before we met for dinner and she told them about my break up. At the dinner table Paw Paw was sitting to my right. He leaned over to say that he was very sorry to hear the news. It was as sincere as my own father said it, and that felt good.

These people mean so much to me, and I hope someday I will get to share them with a man who understands how important and amazing this relationship is. I didn't want to be anywhere else Christmas Eve. My heart was right there, at that table.

Here are some of the photos from that evening.

Happy New Year, my friends!

Grounded

She had her "Aha!" moment somewhere in-between the blubbering and a restful night's sleep.

She grabbed the largest balloon she could find and ran outside.

Into the balloon went all the hot air that filled her lungs.

She let the wind carry the balloon away,
Took a deep breath of fresh air,
And embraced herself.

Oh the joy of feeling grounded! 

Cheers

A "gift" was given to me this week at work. I actually ran out of PTO (Paid Time Off) days around September of last year. I had some unexpected trips (mom broke her hip in May and I went to Albuquerque for the week) and 2 weeks of illnesses between me and Peanut. My mom is fine, by the way...she's actually better than fine...her recovery time was far less than expected. Anyway, back to work...At the start of this year I was about 6 days in the hole. Here's where the gift came in...they decided to wipe my slate clean! My insides were jumping for joy, and I of course thanked them over and over....

But, I declined their offer. You see, there were some days I took off simply because I couldn't "deal" with life...aka, days I shouldn't have taken off. This year's resolution is to not do that anymore. Separating personal feelings from the work I need to do will not be easy, but it's a goal I need to reach. So far I've done pretty well considering I've started this year with a break up.

Well, it's been a long week, and this is all I feel like writing for the moment. Perhaps I'll have a burst of writing energy later in the weekend.

Cheers!

Stephanie

No Winner

This time when they played
There was no laughter to follow .
They pulled so hard the rope broke in two,
And each took their piece.

She tied hers in a knot around her waist
To display her part of their undoing.
The edges of the loose end snagged and frayed
As she let it drag like a tail behind her.

He shouted, "I was right! I won!"
She conceded without looking back,
And kept walking,
Tears streaming down her face.

She knew when he turned that critical eye on himself
He'd experience the same pain.
She realized with that pain would come grief,
And clearly there was no winner.

The Parade

Rain all you want on my parade.

Splash with anger against the cymbals and the drums.

Let what ails you spill out onto the streets.

I will stay afloat,

And wait for the real you to come flooding back.

The Pile

Six years ago she didn't have to deal with this.

The room appeared spotless,
Void of distractions,
Empty...
Her stuff was so well hidden even she couldn't find it!

Then life changed...

Now there was a pile of stuff in the middle of the room.
It wasn't as big of a pile as it was six years ago.
Most of the bigger items had been put in their proper place.
There was progress,
But she longed for the day when the stuff would magically disappear.
She knew that seldom happens...
The responsibility was hers.
She'd tackle it all eventually,
But, good golly, how did she accumulate so much stuff?!