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I'm a Recovering Drama Queen. I got tired of the same old lines.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

No Longer Welcome

I thought it was the hurt that I so enjoyed missing. I could let go of the love, but I needed to keep the hurt close to home. I welcomed it many an occasion with open arms. I thought I was most comfortable residing with it. I decorated it with rich colors of anger and accents of loss. The good memories were stowed away behind shelves of "what if's" and "if only's".

The hurt knocked on my door twice in the past 24 hours. Twice! I did not solicit this hurt and it caught me by surprise. At first I welcomed it in like an old friend. It brought lovely chairs as a gift and we sat, enmeshed with one another, and laughed at my expense... And then I realized how much this hurt had been intruding on my life. I began to notice I couldn't sit comfortably in those chairs, and they no longer matched my decor'.

I do not need you, Hurt.

I do not want to miss you anymore.

I no longer get pleasure from your company.

You are no longer welcome in my home.

12 comments:

  1. I love that last line. That's a powerful place to stand.

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  2. Thank you so much! It was a rough day.

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  3. Damn, that was beautiful. Thank you.

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  4. I did relate to this... While we can wear our scars bravely, the wound has to heal first for them to appear. It will only heal if it's left alone and not poked and prodded, especially if it's the one who caused the injury in the first place.

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  5. Well said, Arlequin...and thank you B-RAB!

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  6. This is AN AMAZING post! It gave me chills. You're so strong. This needs to be in a book; I think it could help a lot of people.

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  7. Amazing post,amazing chair! :P
    Followed.

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  8. Yay! Another follower. I found the chair in a stock of pictures on-line. Thought it was perfect...copy, paste, done.
    There is a site that has these amazing cards. Inspiring. After I wrote this it reminded me of how I'd feel after reading their cards. I may get up the nerve to submit it to them.

    Go to http://www.ponderingpool.com/

    Gluestick and Present Yourself are my two favorites.

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  9. Steph that was powerful and you expressed yourself beautifully. Now keep that in the back of your mind so you never have to travel down that road again without giving yourself permission. Proud of you..

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  10. My step mom told me last night that when I'm feeling down like I was, that I was the one in charge of finding what makes me happy to "fill" myself back up. Writing is doing that for me.
    What is that phrase? Oh, yes..."My cup runneth over" today. Thank you.

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  11. Well, we can't always be happy otherwise happiness would lose its value and become normality. Being sad is allowed... and indeed necessary from time to time.

    I think of it like sinking in the swimming pool, eventually you hit the bottom and can push off back up to the surface. That first big gulp of air as your head breaks the surface is happiness! Sure, sinking is a little bit scary and uncomfortable, but not really that bad when it comes down to it.

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