I thought it was the hurt that I so enjoyed missing. I could let go of the love, but I needed to keep the hurt close to home. I welcomed it many an occasion with open arms. I thought I was most comfortable residing with it. I decorated it with rich colors of anger and accents of loss. The good memories were stowed away behind shelves of "what if's" and "if only's".
The hurt knocked on my door twice in the past 24 hours. Twice! I did not solicit this hurt and it caught me by surprise. At first I welcomed it in like an old friend. It brought lovely chairs as a gift and we sat, enmeshed with one another, and laughed at my expense... And then I realized how much this hurt had been intruding on my life. I began to notice I couldn't sit comfortably in those chairs, and they no longer matched my decor'.
I do not need you, Hurt.
I do not want to miss you anymore.
I no longer get pleasure from your company.
You are no longer welcome in my home.